I'm currently homeless.
I still have a room to sleep in, but as of Sunday, Nov. 6, I will be living somewhere new.
I live in the dorms on campus, and I've really come to love them. I've made so many friends here and know almost everyone by name. For lack of better words, we've become a family. And now they're tearing our family apart.
Apparently there are some technical problems with the dorm building we are living in, so much so that they are to the point where it wouldn't be worth it to fix them. Because of this, we all have legitimately a week to find a new place to live and move out. This means taking all of our possessions and just relocating to wherever we can find. The university is doing what they can to compensate for what's happening, but nothing they can do at this point will ever make up for what is happening.
I've been in this dorm now for about three months, and it's become my home. When I say I need to go home, this room is the one that I picture. I always see myself coming back to this dorm with these people and my friends. After Sunday I won't be able to do that anymore, and that really bothers me.
But I think on a more baser level, I'm afraid of the isolation this will mean.
Right now what we're trying to work out is myself, and my friends Ehrin, Lennyx, Kamille and Sarah are trying to find a place that we can all live together until next semester, and maybe for next year as well, so at least I will still be with people I know. What I'm really scared for is losing the community and family that I've built over the last three months.
Almost all of my friends live in the same dorm as I do, we see each other almost everyday. Even if we're not friends I know almost everyone in the building and have talked to them at some point or another. I'm going to be losing those connections when we all leave. Many of us don't have class together, and we only see each other when we're all in the building, and we're not going to have that anymore. That's what I'm really scared of.
I sat through the entire announcement with tears running down my face, managed to pull myself together, hugged one of my best friends, and cried all over again. Upside, a bunch of my hall mates and myself went to McDonald's and did some emotional eating. It make things a little bit better, but not much. My night also improved slightly when Matt and I sat outside for fifteen minutes and played with a random cat he had found. We then let it into the building, because we thought it would be nice. It was.
I can't sleep. I feel sick to my stomach. My hands are shaking. And quite frankly, I don't know what to do.
Right now, I'm going to go back to my task of taking as many pictures of my dorm room as possible and trying to get some homework done because there are too many things on my mind to just sleep. I'm not even going to classes tomorrow because I need to figure out housing, and fast.
I don't know what's going to happen...
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
How about Halloween?
I feel that I need to jump on the bandwagon.
I find a lot of animosity when it comes to Halloween, and with the way some people choose to dress and market I can see where it comes from. But I don't understand why things need to be so black and white. It's not really the end of the world.
Some people don't like Halloween. That's fine. Some people don't like Easter, or Christmas, or Valentine's Day, that doesn't mean for a week in the month of the aforementioned holiday you get to rag on everyone who actually derives some pleasure from the festivities.
And it's not the fact that people don't like Halloween, I'm find with that. It's when people become overly angry or upset when asked a simple question like "are you going to the school's Halloween party?". I did ask several people this question, and got answers all along the same lines.
One friend said no, because he thought it was stupid. That was fine. The other proceeded to rant to me for almost ten minutes about how women dress up like sluts and there's nothing fun to do and so on. He was actually really angry about it. And I'm alright with that too, but I don't think that tearing down the holiday itself is really going to do anyone any good.
Women tend to dress like themed hookers on Halloween.
This is a fact, and if I ever needed something to confirm that, I got it today. But they're not going to change just because you think it makes them and women in general look trashy. They were willing to wear it out of the house, what your opinion is is the last thing on their minds. And women have been doing this forever because they can. ... And because there are no decent costumes made for women these days. None. It seems like if it isn't short, busty and revealing you're doing something wrong or made the costume yourself. That disturbs and worries me, but that will be saved for another day.
To return to the point, why do we have to hate?
I greatly dislike Valentine's Day because I feel that it encourages men to be nice for one day in the hopes of getting laid. Personally, I've gone through some shit Valentine's Days. That doesn't mean I tell everyone who asks what I'm doing for Valentine's Day that it's stupid and people are stupid for celebrating it.
To each his own, and I think that once we start doing that everyone will be in a much happier place.
All you need is love.... And a little patience and willingness to let people be.
I find a lot of animosity when it comes to Halloween, and with the way some people choose to dress and market I can see where it comes from. But I don't understand why things need to be so black and white. It's not really the end of the world.
Some people don't like Halloween. That's fine. Some people don't like Easter, or Christmas, or Valentine's Day, that doesn't mean for a week in the month of the aforementioned holiday you get to rag on everyone who actually derives some pleasure from the festivities.
And it's not the fact that people don't like Halloween, I'm find with that. It's when people become overly angry or upset when asked a simple question like "are you going to the school's Halloween party?". I did ask several people this question, and got answers all along the same lines.
One friend said no, because he thought it was stupid. That was fine. The other proceeded to rant to me for almost ten minutes about how women dress up like sluts and there's nothing fun to do and so on. He was actually really angry about it. And I'm alright with that too, but I don't think that tearing down the holiday itself is really going to do anyone any good.
Women tend to dress like themed hookers on Halloween.
This is a fact, and if I ever needed something to confirm that, I got it today. But they're not going to change just because you think it makes them and women in general look trashy. They were willing to wear it out of the house, what your opinion is is the last thing on their minds. And women have been doing this forever because they can. ... And because there are no decent costumes made for women these days. None. It seems like if it isn't short, busty and revealing you're doing something wrong or made the costume yourself. That disturbs and worries me, but that will be saved for another day.
To return to the point, why do we have to hate?
I greatly dislike Valentine's Day because I feel that it encourages men to be nice for one day in the hopes of getting laid. Personally, I've gone through some shit Valentine's Days. That doesn't mean I tell everyone who asks what I'm doing for Valentine's Day that it's stupid and people are stupid for celebrating it.
To each his own, and I think that once we start doing that everyone will be in a much happier place.
All you need is love.... And a little patience and willingness to let people be.
In which I cement the fact I need a life...
So, I think lucid dreaming is about the coolest thing ever.
Stereotypical? Maybe a bit. Care? Not really.
So, ever since having a discussion in my general psychology class about lucid dreaming I have been on a mission to teach myself how to. For those of you who don't know, lucid dreaming is where you are conscious of the fact that you are dreaming, and therefore able to have control over the dream. This pretty much means while dreaming, you can do whatever you want to. No more nights dreaming about spotted elephants running for the presidency while it rains jelly bean sized rabbits from the sky.
Long story short, I look like a bigger dork since this has begun. There's always an "A" on my hand because that's the sign I've chosen to use. When I look down at my hand and see the "A", I know that I'm awake, but if I look down and it's gone, I'll know that I'm in a dream. (This plan is going to work awesome until the "A" shows up in my dreams. Then I'm screwed). I get all excited when I wake up and can actually remember a dream, a rarity, and then get to annoy my roommate as I scramble to write them down before I forget.
Conclusion: I need more hobbies, or watch too much Inception.
If I could do what they do in Inception, I would be able to die happy. That's the coolest thing ever. Even if it was Leonardo DiCaprio, it was still awesome.
I have yet to have an actual lucid dream, but I've only been at this for about a week, so whatever. The upside is I have actually started being able to remember my dreams and have been having them more frequently. Even if I can't control the content, I'm loving the increase of dreams, cause I love dreams.
Wish me luck~!
Stereotypical? Maybe a bit. Care? Not really.
So, ever since having a discussion in my general psychology class about lucid dreaming I have been on a mission to teach myself how to. For those of you who don't know, lucid dreaming is where you are conscious of the fact that you are dreaming, and therefore able to have control over the dream. This pretty much means while dreaming, you can do whatever you want to. No more nights dreaming about spotted elephants running for the presidency while it rains jelly bean sized rabbits from the sky.
Long story short, I look like a bigger dork since this has begun. There's always an "A" on my hand because that's the sign I've chosen to use. When I look down at my hand and see the "A", I know that I'm awake, but if I look down and it's gone, I'll know that I'm in a dream. (This plan is going to work awesome until the "A" shows up in my dreams. Then I'm screwed). I get all excited when I wake up and can actually remember a dream, a rarity, and then get to annoy my roommate as I scramble to write them down before I forget.
Conclusion: I need more hobbies, or watch too much Inception.
If I could do what they do in Inception, I would be able to die happy. That's the coolest thing ever. Even if it was Leonardo DiCaprio, it was still awesome.
I have yet to have an actual lucid dream, but I've only been at this for about a week, so whatever. The upside is I have actually started being able to remember my dreams and have been having them more frequently. Even if I can't control the content, I'm loving the increase of dreams, cause I love dreams.
Wish me luck~!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Ah, Winter, I'd forgotten about you.....
Snow.
That's all. I really don't like it.
My roommate's phone has been acting strange lately, so I set my alarm so that she can get up in time for class and I can get up in general. Today I was cognitive enough to yell to her that it was 7:15 and then settled in for another hour of sleep. In a matter of moments I heard her yell 'Merry Christmas'.
I was confused as hell. That was until I sat up, looked out the window and saw that there was snow on the ground. And not even good snow. That mushy, watery, nasty crap that is the precursor to snow.
I don't mind winter at all, I kind of like the cold. It's snow that I hate. It's cold and wet and miserable and I just wish harm on its existence. That's dumb though because snow can't feel pain. I just want it to be warm. Like falling in a snow drift would be like falling into warm yet solid water. That's not to ridiculously strange, and it would be so much nicer than what it is now. I think people would hate it less if it wasn't so cold. ... But I digress.
Not to mention, it's October 26. I figured I'd at least have until the first week of November before there was any real indicator of the hell to come. Nope, got it this morning. Was reminded of it when I had to walk to class in it.
Fuck.
That's all. I really don't like it.
My roommate's phone has been acting strange lately, so I set my alarm so that she can get up in time for class and I can get up in general. Today I was cognitive enough to yell to her that it was 7:15 and then settled in for another hour of sleep. In a matter of moments I heard her yell 'Merry Christmas'.
I was confused as hell. That was until I sat up, looked out the window and saw that there was snow on the ground. And not even good snow. That mushy, watery, nasty crap that is the precursor to snow.
I don't mind winter at all, I kind of like the cold. It's snow that I hate. It's cold and wet and miserable and I just wish harm on its existence. That's dumb though because snow can't feel pain. I just want it to be warm. Like falling in a snow drift would be like falling into warm yet solid water. That's not to ridiculously strange, and it would be so much nicer than what it is now. I think people would hate it less if it wasn't so cold. ... But I digress.
Not to mention, it's October 26. I figured I'd at least have until the first week of November before there was any real indicator of the hell to come. Nope, got it this morning. Was reminded of it when I had to walk to class in it.
Fuck.
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