Sing on...

I've been listening to music again lately.

Before anyone gets the idea that this means I'm listening to Bach or Mozart or anything like that, I'm not. I'm actually mostly listening to Sum 41, Rise Against, the LostProphets, and Avril Lavigne. Nothing overly complicated, but good in its own respect.

Every time I listen to most of it I can hear my mom sitting next to me in the car telling that I might be a happier person if I didn't listen to so much subversive and angry music. While that comment bothered me at the time, it doesn't bother me so much anymore. I like the music I listen to for a reason, it gives me some form of comfort.

While I was, and still am, drifting through my teen years I find that a lot of my time is spent dealing with my doubts and insecurities. It was miserable, but something that I ultimately had to go through. And I don't listen to these bands thinking that I'm being so rebel, or that I'm fighting against some unseen force. I listen to them because they sing about the world turning it's back on you, and you having to navigate the confusing and painful times on your own. They sing about how much it hurts to be in love, and how much better it can get. They sing about loss, mourning, and being afraid.

It's for these things that I listen to the music I do.

There's something profound about finding something that you connect to. It's comforting. You're able to relate so much of yourself to it, and not just the good parts. Even if it's just some song, sung by some band, they're singing about exactly how you feel.

When I was at one of the lowest parts of my life the summer before my senior year I can remember driving at 60 miles an hour through the residential neighborhoods in complete silence. When I got sick of that silence I turned the CD on and Rise Against's "Kotov Syndrome" came on. For the first time that day I stopped and just sat there, listening to this song that by some chance was talking about everything I was feeling. And as I sat there, I just cried.

Music has this ability to channel our emotions, make us feel that somewhere in the world there's someone who's felt the way we feel now. It has the power to connect us. It's something distinct and beautiful and helps us to not feel so alone. I, personally, will never be thankful enough for this. It's music that has reminded me that it's alright to feel lost and confused and scared. But it's also reminded me to be proud of what I feel, that it is a sign that I'm alive.

It reminds us that we're never really alone.